Consult God’s Word Daily
How can a young person stay pure? By obeying your word.—Psalm 119:9 (NLT)
I have known from my earliest days that your laws will last forever.—Psalm 119:152 (NLT)
Know what God’s Word says about purity; it will guide you, encourage you, and uphold you to make righteous choices to maintain your purity.
Hot topics to study: Bisexuality and homosexuality (same sex attractions)
The world encourages it, but God’s Holy Word does not. It’s important to know God’s wisdom on these topics.
Communicate with Your Parents
Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up.
—Deuteronomy 6:7 (NLT)
Honor your parents by talking honestly with them. It may seem awkward at first to communicate openly and honestly with your parents, but that feeling will soon pass. It’s God’s will for you to keep the lines of communication open at all times. Making the point to communicate with your parents on a daily basis will make it easier for you to share your feelings and to ask difficult questions.
Make a Commitment to Live a Life of Purity
Daniel was determined not to defile himself . . .
—Daniel 1:8 (NLT)
Modesty (clothing):
And I want women to be modest in their appearance.They should wear decent and appropriate clothing and not draw attention to themselves by the way they fix their hair or by wearing gold or pearls or expensive clothes.
—1 Timothy 2:9 (NLT)
God desires for Christian women and men to stand out and be noticed. He desires for us, as Christians, to capture attention for our good works and kind hearts rather than clothing or lack of clothing. The Lord expects you to dress in a way that will promote holy thoughts and protect the minds of your brothers and sisters in Christ.
State your convictions and make sure they line up with God’s wise Word.
a) Establish Boundaries with Friends of the Opposite Sex
As you create boundaries to maintain pure friendships, it is important to think of others before yourself.
Don’t be concerned for your own good but for the good of others.—1 Corinthians 10:24 (NLT)
Consider what your actions could communicate to others. Does your conduct appear pure or does it give an appearance of ungodliness? You need to ask yourself, “How does this appear?”
Abstain from all appearance of evil.
—1 Thessalonians 5:22 (KJV)
The Bible instructs older woman to teach younger woman how to conduct themselves (Titus 2:4–5). The Lord desires young women to exhibit behaviors that are chaste, decent, subdued, and show discretion. When you know the definitions of these words, you know how to please the Lord and act obediently. It will also help you know when the line has been crossed.
Chaste means: Not indulging in unlawful sexual activity. (This includes speech.) To be decent and modest, to show restrain and be subdued.
Decent means: To be proper and fitting; respectable; not obscene; kind and fair.
Subdued means: To have control of.
Discretion means: Exercising sound judgment; cautious in conduct; manages self carefully.
When you conduct yourself in this manner, you will not bring shame on the Word of God and you will maintain right friendships and set a right example for others.
Read the following Scriptures and think about how they apply to right friendships.
Love each other as brothers and sisters and honor others more than you do yourself.
—Romans 12:10 (CEV)
For once you were full of darkness, but now you have light from the Lord. So live as people of light!—Ephesians 5:8 (NLT)
b) Important Issues to Think About
How long do you talk on the phone or spend on the computer to ensure purity of mind and heart?
How does refusing to accept gifts from the opposite sex maintain a pure image?
How will you greet your friends to maintain purity and avoid the appearance of evil?
When going to a party, why is it wise to have the assurance of parental supervision?
When at a party, why is it wise to stay with your girlfriends so that you’re not isolated?
When at a party, why is it wise to have a girlfriend accompany you to the restroom?
When out with friends or at a party, why is it unwise to be one-on-one in an isolated place, like a bedroom?
How does flirtatious behavior dishonor others and give the appearance of evil?
State your convictions and make sure they line up with God’s wise Word.
c) Make a List and Check It Twice
There is a great quote, “If you don’t have standards, you’ll fall for anything.” It’s important to know the kind of person God desires to give you for a husband. The Lord doesn’t want you to settle for anything less than His best. Look to the book of Daniel and Proverbs 31 as godly examples, and be blessed! The most important factor is knowing that the person is a true, born-again Christian.
Pray constantly- Daniel 2:18 and 6:10
Understand God’s Word and apply it- 1:19
Be unwilling to compromise God’s truth- 6:10
Have faith in God unto death- 2:12–16; 3:6–8
Seek God instead of blaming God for poor circumstances- 3:16-18
Have leadership qualities- 1–6
Praise God- 2:19b and 6:10
Be a servant of God- 6:21–23
Don't be prideful- 2:27, 20–23, and 30
Fellowship with godly friends- 1:6–7
State your convictions and make sure they line up with God’s wise Word.
Establish Godly Friendships / Accountability
This is one area where many youth defy God’s Word and, in turn, destroy their purity and their witness. With an attitude of pride, some reject God’s Word regarding friendships and choose ungodly friends. They believe ungodly friends won’t bring them down, but this is a lie from the enemy. God is very clear that ungodly friendships with corrupt and destroy you.
Don’t be fooled by those who say such things, for “bad company corrupts good character.”
—1 Corinthians 15:33 (NLT)
God desires for you to be victorious in your purity. He knows you need friends who are like-minded with Him and who will encourage you in your walk of purity. The Lord knows that godly friendships help keep you accountable to your commitment.
Walk with the wise and become wise; associate with fools and get in trouble.
—Proverbs 13:20 (NLT)
The godly give good advice to their friends; the wicked lead them astray.—Proverbs 12:26 (NLT)
State your convictions and make sure they line up with God’s wise Word. Give your friend a list of your stated convictions.
Monitor Media “Be careful little eyes what you see.”
I will be careful to live a blameless life—when will you come to help me? I will lead a life of integrity in my own home. I will refuse to look at anything vile and vulgar. I hate all who deal crookedly; I will have nothing to do with them.
—Psalm 101:2–3 (NLT)
Look at your entertainment choices, including movies, music, magazines, and television. Write out what you indulge in.
Do your choices promote purity? Do your choices reflect the Holy One who lives in you?
If your choices go against God’s Word, know that you’ll reap what you sow as Scripture shares.
Don’t be misled—you cannot mock the justice of God. You will always harvest what you plant. Those who live only to satisfy their own sinful nature will harvest decay and death from that sinful nature. But those who live to please the Spirit will harvest everlasting life from the Spirit. So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up.
—Galatians 6:7–9 (NLT)
Young person, by applying these five principles to your life, you're on your way to maintaining your purity. It's a day-by-day workout, but the reward is great as you read above in Galatians: But those who live to please the Spirit will harvest everlasting life from the Spirit. So don't get tired of doing what is good. Don't get discouraged and give up, for we will reap a harvest of blessing at the appropriate time. Yes, for those who walk in purity will be blessed and rewarded.
In those times when you feel weak, go to the Lord’s Word for counsel, comfort, and strength. Share your heart with your parents and Christian friends. Have your parents and friends pray for your purity. You can also talk with a youth leader at youth group. You will be amazed by what spending time with a wise person in the Lord will do. They would love to listen and pray for you. Know that there are many people in the body of Christ praying for you and supporting your decision to walk in purity.
